Two quick politics thingies, but not about the candidates or issues. Skip if bored.
I think I told you about the “Saturday Night Live” bit that we saw (and saw re-run on MSNBC’s Lester Holt Live). It was just hilarious. The guy who plays Chris Matthews looks like him and has the lean-forward and the “oh, God” pounding on the desk just right, and the guy who played Zell Miller (“I wish we lived back in the days when you could challenge a person to a duel”) was on the nose–I even think he basically didn’t have to ad lib, but just quoted exactly what Miller said when he got so het up. And the lady with the bug eyes who’s supposed to be the Kerry manager was also spot-on. I do NOT know how the FCC let her get away with all those slang synonyms for sex acts and “being pol[l]ed.” (The Bush guy was good, too!) They were all fantastic. But I’ll never get over the “Yosemite Sam” part where they guy playing Zell has the two flintlocks and is shouting, “Twenty paces at dawn,” and the guy playing Chris says, “When we come back, Senator Miller is going to try to shoot me. . . ” That ought to be on the Web somewhere. In fact, the original piece was kind of scary. Chris M was just freaked out and laughing because he couldn’t take it that seriously, but when they cut to a break and came back, both Ron Reagan and Pat Buchanan were sitting there with saucer-eyes and Pat says, “Chris, the man just challenged you to a duel!!!” It was the ultimate live television!! You know what I just realized? If only Steve Allen (who has chronicled his own side-splitting adventures in live TV) had been around to see that! He would’ve just been climbing the walls to see that (maybe he got to see it anyway!) I know that Chris’s wife was freaking out and calling the cops and hiring bodyguards or getting ready to say to him, “You’re ready to retire, mister,” because it really WAS kind of scary at the time.
And in other news . . . wow, a romance author got her computer confiscated because she was surfing web sites for research and they thought she was some kind of a whatever.
This little piece scared me. Eep! The Dallas police also threw an 80-year-old woman to the ground in some kind of bogus arrest last month. Okay, people, let’s buy a vowel here! Use some common sense! Stop being scared of your own shadow! Most of the time, this stuff is going to be basically innocent ignorance of the “rules” and not somebody out for trouble. We must get over being jumpy and upset. Those bad seeds caught us by surprise that one time, but they’re out of clever ideas, and so we just need to be vigilant, not hinky.
Whoever’s assigned to watch *me*. . . I feel really sorry for ya. The binoculars must nearly fall out of your hands all the time as you fall asleep waiting for something to happen. I stumble out of bed in the morning, take Teddybear (the Pomeranian) out to tinkle in the front courtyard, stumble to the mailbox, go back inside to argue with Mama about how she is supposed to take her medication*, sit and type on my novel(s) or on e-mail or this LJ, clean house, cook, do laundry, practice the piano, talk to one of five people on the phone (sorry, they’re all boring patriots–one is my 80-yr-old aunt, one my mom’s 65+ friend who is constantly calling to tell her something good is on cable channel such-and-such, usually the home channel or the news networks . . . and so forth, zzzzzz!)
And the phone convos are SO boring, too. “Did you pick up my prescriptions? And did you see how much is in the bank? I went to the ATM and it kept saying, ‘choose a smaller amount’!” from hubby . . . “I got anoootherrr rejection, waaaah,” from my writing buddies (or “I cannot DO the edits she ASKED for and it completely VIOLATES my artistic INTENT and this cannot be HAPPENING”) . . . “This is the So-and-So Society and we’re going to be in your neighborhood Tuesday and can you leave a donation on the porch” . . . “This is ExxonMobil and did you know you have not paid your bill” (in an Indian accent) . . . oops!! Maybe they kind of got a chuckle out of that last one, where I was trying to convince “Buddy” from Peoria by way of Calcutta (outsourced call center) that The Check Is In The Mail. Yep, they have already heard that one a few times, as it turns out. But mine really IS!! I worried more about the Penneys bill, ’cause it went to Orlando FL and they’re still recovering from all that hurricane activity, but that check came through already. Um, but anyway, even the most loyal reader is by now falling out of the chair with boredom, and so must my assigned “watch that suspicious writer” team be. I’d offer y’all some low-carb pumpkin muffins, but I don’t think they’ll fit through this cable modem.
My life even bores ME. I really feel for you guys out there.
*Mama got this new inhalant dealie, a disk like Advair but a little different, with a capsule you put inside it and then pierce by pressing yet another button. The doctor showed her, but she mis-remembered and wouldn’t press the “pierce capsule” button, so was soon feeling suffocated because she was not getting the expen$ive powder out of the capsule at all. I finally made sure she was poking the durn button, and she reports much better breathing. But she doesn’t want me to tell her what to do. “Get away!! I can do this!! Let me!” Yeah, I know. But she was doing it WRONG and I knew it. . . .
How nerdy/pedantic is it to have FOOTNOTES to your own DIARY entries?!