(I’ve simply got to dig out that old keyboard to see if it works better than this one. We swapped video cards, which seemed to fix the repeating keys . . . but still, this one isn’t quite right.)
Two random rants before we start:
WHY is it that they always write, “I’m afraid your premise didn’t grab me the way I hoped it would,” or “Your premise didn’t appeal to me”? They have taken on authors whose novels have the most ridiculous and copycat and overdone premises. Premises–man, there are only so many of ’em, and they’ve all been done before (as those singing boys put it), many times. So just give my TREATMENT of the premise a chance, bubbeleh. I suspect it’s not the premise at all.
And I still can’t get enamored of most humorous essays about why somebody doesn’t like opera, although there are SO MANY of them out there. I mean, they all end with “the fat lady sings,” and could we have predicted that? It is such a cliche, and offensive to boot (oh, yeah, that’s right, people are supposed to mock FAT people, it’s the last allowable hate-crime prejudice), and not original. And most of these essays don’t even TWIST the cliche (“the fat lady swings!”–SC). But I do love the Chuck Jones Bugs Bunny take on the topic, “What’s Opera, Doc?” Because Chuck Jones uses the famous arias in his cartoon and all along displays the respect he has for the genre. He doesn’t just whine that they sing all their lines in Italian and he doesn’t understand Italian, for example. I wonder why this particular thing is still bothering me. . . . *wink* And BTW, these grapes taste like Uncle Grandpa’s Whizfactor. *flush*
Okay, so the meme. I didn’t get tagged, but I don’t give a s**t. I’m doin’ it anyhow.
People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. [I like this part; it is the major reason I decided to do the meme!]
1. What are your reasons for having an LJ? To have an audience and a bully pulpit, of course. What other reason could there BE?
2. What do you do before bedtime? I stay awake. (Duh!)
3. Last book you read, and did you like it? I want to lie and say I re-read something literary and worthy, but actually I was researching “what sells” and just finished choking my way through a mainstream women’s fiction thing with a romance. I just don’t GET it. There wasn’t anything special about this one. It also violated all the rules of openings that I have been lectured over and over about: it began with her waking up and hitting the alarm clock (yawn) and discovering she’s late (so she sets the clock wrong?), and walking around to wake up hubby and children (*YAWN*), and making breakfast as the pets and kids do “funny” things (**STRETCHHH**), and then getting them all off to work and school. THEN she settles down on the couch with java to watch “Oprah.” And THEN the viewpoint character has the GALL to say that her HUSBAND is boring. !!! !!! !!!
4. What is the city of your dreams and why? Carmel/Pacific Grove, California. I don’t know how long I could take the bucolic serenity and the extreme coastal beauty and the bay with pods of whales playing in it and beaches with sea lions sunning themselves, but I’d like a shot at it.
5. Are you an introvert or extrovert? I am an extreme introvert. However, my mother is and always has been an extreeeeeeme extrovert, and the moment I was born she started shouting, “Don’t be shy! That’s a sickness! Where are the psychologists?” In the early 1960s when I was an egg, shyness was considered a Disorder to be Cured. Therefore, I had to develop my shadow functions or else be endlessly beaten up about Unnatural Shyness. I did this by creating a character I could play when out and about. I was already an aspiring actress, so this was up my alley. *I* wouldn’t want to walk down the hall greeting everyone and pushing myself on them to talk to them, but my character could. It also made my mother and counselors stop talking about how I had to come “out of my shell.” This act I called my “Melanie routine,” named after a popular cheerleader type who was friends with everybody and could cross from clique to clique and still be adored. I wasn’t popular, mind, but I did run into fewer problems. I have to charge my batteries with solitude after an extended run of this act, although I can go a lot longer than I used to be able to. My co-workers at my last job were completely shocked when the results of our teambuiding MBTI exams came in. (It’s a test that sorts people for introversion/extroversion, thinking/feeling, and so forth.) I knew I had been totally nailed by the test. They all said, “We know YOU are an extrovert.” I laughed. Of course I am an INTP. iNxP, really, after all these years of exercising the shadow functions. I think every writer should start out as an actor in order to understand how to be another person.
I’ve never been shy as a writer. Something about the page not having crooked teeth, not being fat, not being dressed funny, and all that–it’s almost like having a level playing field.
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone? To be a giver is better, morally. Love that you send out unconditionally is a gift you can give the world. It’s always wonderful to be loved and to feel it, but if you can give love without having to have it returned, you become a saint.
7. Do you trust easily?
“I don’t ask for much–I only want trust, and you know it don’t come easy.”
No. It’s not a survival trait. My college boyfriend used to lecture me about how “you and your mother are so suspicious and distrustful. You have to trust people! People are good!” He thought I was a complete nut not to want to walk across campus alone at midnight to meet him at the computer lab, and not to be willing to drive through tough neighborhoods at night, and to make sure my purse wasn’t sitting where it could be stolen easily. My answer has always been the one I put into the mouth of one of my characters in a book: “Hand me that mirror. I wanna see if I look like a fool.”
8. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? I’d like the ability to make myself LOOK and SOUND like whoever the person viewing/hearing me admires the most. That way, I might get somewhere with my ideas and attempts. If we can’t do that, then of course it’s miracle healing and flying without wings or airplanes.
9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days? *mmph* *snort* ah-ah-hahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *falls out from laughter*
10. What is your best quality? I’m smart. NO, really.
11. Is being tagged fun? I wouldn’t know *pout* I never get tagged.
New question: Do people know who you are?
No. I am very forgettable in real life. More than once I have hailed a past co-worker or someone I knew in school, and have had to MAKE them recognize me, and even then when I explained how I knew them and asked after others, the person has said, “Oh, we had a reunion a couple of months ago! So-and-so is doing A, and Whatsis is doing B.” I always say, “Oh, I would have loved to come!” They don’t even look sheepish as they say, “I guess we forgot about you.”
12. How do you see yourself? Through completely delusional filters covered with rose-colored gauze. It’s the only way I can survive.
13. Who are currently the most important people to you? *This is a dumb question, IMHO. Who’s gonna answer “the little people of Zartog”? We shall replace it with:*
What is your current earworm (the song going through your head endlessly)? “Suzanne” by Weezer, as played in the film “Mallrats,” because I just caught the film yesterday on TV when they pre-empted “Cash Cab” and I had to find something else to use as background noise for dinner. Before that, for several weeks it has been “Stranger in Paradise” as swung by Jack Jones, alternating with “Wabash Cannonball” as sung by Johnny and June Carter Cash.
14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is? *I SAID I DIDN’T GET TAGGED* *So here is our replacement question.* Do you sleep in the nude? I can neither confirm or deny.
15. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor? Well, I’m married but sorta poor. I wouldn’t wanna be single again. There are so many lonely rich people. Still, I do need SOME money. I don’t need TEN million, as that would ruin anybody’s life. One million will be fine. Why are these always either/or questions? “Would you rather drown or starve?” Neither, thanks!!
16. How many children do you want to have, if any? I couldn’t have children. I wanted them. I expected to have them. I always said I didn’t want an only child because I was so lonesome . . . but nowadays an only child has the ‘net, videogames, and everything you can think of, plus is brought up as a mini-adult and included in adult gatherings and conversations (we were always shooed away and ignored as kids when we tried to talk as an adult.) So it would’ve been OK just to have the one, after all. Still, I couldn’t have ’em, and every time I got us signed up for adoption things hubby would refuse to go to the meetings and so forth, so I wasted a lot of cash on those things. Now I’m too old and cranky for kids.
17. What’s better, to give or to receive? It depends on what you’re offering.
18. If you could go back in time and change one thing about your life, what would it be? There isn’t any ONE thing that wouldn’t derail a lot of other things. I would have preferred not to have the serious illnesses that I’ve had . . . if Daddy hadn’t died one morning when I was fifteen . . . if Mama hadn’t had a nervous breakdown when I was eight and caused a lot of trauma . . . if I could have published a novel sometime in my teens or twenties (and thus become Worthy and Legitimate, and perhaps even An Amazing Young Talent) . . . if I hadn’t managed to drive away my first two serious boyfriends (meaning that we’d still be friends and I wouldn’t have the little voice that says in my mind, just as they did, “You aren’t good enough–get away!”) . . . see, there are too many choices. Maybe the thing to change would be who I get born to (eliminating genetics and environment in one fell swoop), but I can’t think of anyone else I would be able to stand as a parent, either, so forget that, too.
19. What would you do if you became pregnant unexpectedly? Rejoice. “It’s a miracle!”
20. What is your biggest fear? The same as everyone’s. We don’t want to disappear.