Friday fun for the pathetic dateless crew

Those of us who don’t have an actual Friday Night DATE are sitting here doing those cool forward-it-4-ever quizzes that come in your e-mail in fruity new flavors and twelve delicious colors. This one was pretty screwed up when it arrived in my in-box, but I correcetd hte spellling and fixed a few of the dumber answer choices. (I even sneaked in a Van Halen question.) You won’t do well if you’re a young whippersnapper, but then you aren’t reading the ‘net on Friday night if you are non-old and semi-good-lookin’. You actually got to go to the Eight-Ball All-Night Pool Hall! Maybe I can get hubby to take me after I post this. So good luck with the quiz. But if you’re not old enough to score well . . . or is that “score, well. . .”–oh, never mind–it’s just for fun.

Sherman, let’s get into the Wayback Machine

A. Okay, Mr. Peabody
B. Not on your life, you pervert
C. WTF is a Wayback Machine
D. As long as you don’t set it for 1492 again
E. Can I take Boo-Boo Bear?
F. Who you callin’ Sherman, white beagle?
G. I gotta go to the bathroom first

Name the Fab Four!

A. John, Pete, George, Ringo
B. Micky, Davy, Mike, Peter
C. Abdul “Duke” Fakir, Roquel Payton, Theo Peoples, Ronnie McNeir
D. Nan, Bert, Freddie, Flossie
F. Athos, Porthos, Aramis, D’Artagnan
G. John, Paul, George, Ringo

John Lennon got into trouble for saying that the Beatles were more popular than. . . .

A. Elvis
B. Jesus
C. Coca-Cola
D. the President
E. Anyone
F. they ought to be
G. Frank Sinatra not-so-hotra

You know you’re semi-good-lookin’. . . .

A. And you got something good cookin’
B. And on the streets again
C. You little angel, you
D. Or at least you think you’re swell
E. You probably think this song is about you
F. And I’m totally good-lookin’
G. But the mirror crack’d and so did I

What builds strong bodies 12 ways?

A. Flintstones vitamins
B. The Buttmaster
C. Spaghetti-Os
D. Wonder Bread
E. Minute Maid Orange Juice
F. Borden Milk
G. Bubba’s Special Cod Liver Oil

Before he was Yusuf Islam, he was…

A. Cat Stevens
B. Roy Orbison
C. Gene Autry
D. Rudolph Valentino
E. Fabian
F. Mickey Mantle
G. Cassius Clay

Pogo, the comic strip character, said, “We have met the enemy and…”

A. It’s you
B. He is us
C. It’s the Grinch
D. He wasn’t home
E. He’s really me
F. We quit
G. He surrendered

Good night, Gracie.

A. Good night, Chet.
B. Sleep well!
C. Good night, Irene.
D. Good night, George
E. See you later, alligator
F. Until tomorrow
G. Bye! *waving*

You’ll wonder where the yellow went…

A. When you use Tide
B. When you lose your crayons
C. When you clean your tub
D. If you paint the room blue
E. If you buy a soft water tank
F. When you use Lady Clairol
G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent

Before he was the Skipper’s Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie’s friend…

A. Stuart Whitman
B. Randolph Scott
C. Steve Reeves
D. Maynard G. Krebs
E. Eddie Haskell
F. Danny Rugg
G. The Fonz

Liar, liar…

A. You’re a liar
B. Your nose is growing
C. Pants on fire
D. Join the choir
E. Jump up higher
F. On the wire
G. I’m telling Mom

Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a neverending battle for truth, justice, and…

A. Wheaties
B. Lois Lane
C. TV ratings
D. World peace
E. Red tights
F. The American way
G. News headlines

Hey, kids! What time is it?

A. It’s time for Yogi Bear
B. It’s time to do your homework
C. It’s Howdy Doody Time
D. It’s time for The Banana Splits! La-la-la
E. It’s bedtime
F. The Mighty Mouse Hour
G. Later than you think

Lions and tigers and bears…

A. Yikes
B. Oh no
C. Gee whiz
D. I’m scared
E. Oh my
F. Help! Help!
G. Let’s run

Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone…

A. Over 40
B. Wearing a uniform
C. Carrying a briefcase
D. Over 30
E. You don’t know
F. Who says, ‘Trust me’
G. Who eats tofu

NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing pantyhose?

A. Troy Aikman
B. Kenny Stabler
C. Joe Namath
D. Roger Staubach
E. Joe Montana
F. Steve Young
G. John Elway

Brylcreem:

A. Smear it on
B. You’ll smell great
C. Tame that cowlick
D. Greaseball heaven
E. It’s a dream
F. We’re your team
G. A little dab’ll do ya

I found my thrill…

A. Taking a little green pill
B. With my man, Bill
C. Down at the mill
D. Over the windowsill
E. With thyme and dill
F. Too late to enjoy
G. On Blueberry Hill

Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by

A. Clark Gable
B. Mary Martin
C. Doris Day
D. Errol Flynn
E. Sally Field
F. Jim Carrey
G. Jay Leno

I wonder, wonder, who:

A. Who ate the leftovers?
B. Who did the laundry?
C. Was it you?
D. Who wrote the book of love?
E. Who I am?
F. Passed the test?
G. Knocked on the door?

I’m strong to the finish…

A. Cause I eats my broccoli
B. Cause I eats me spinach
C. Cause I lift weights
D. Cause I’m the hero
E. And don’t you forget it
F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me
G. To outlast Bruto

When it’s least expected, you’re elected, you’re the star today…

A. Smile, you’re on Candid Camera
B. Smile, you’re on Star Search
C. Smile, you won the lottery
D. Smile, we’re watching your reality show
E. Smile, it could be worse
F. Smile, you’re a hit
G. Smile, you’re on TV

What do M & M’s do?

A. Make your tummy happy
B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket
C. Make you fat
D. Melt your heart
E. Make you popular
F. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand
G. Walk and talk

When Samantha just couldn’t stand it any more, she twitched her. . . .

A. Fingers
B. Eyelids
C. Nose
D. Fanny
E. Eyebrows
F. Darrin
G. How dare you ask me to put a dirty word in my answer

If you don’t know the answers . . . well, it’s probably just as well, if you’re still well when you finish. You really need a do-over!

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Author: shalanna

Shalanna: rhymes with "Madonna" and "I wanna," and is not a soundalike with "Hosanna" or "Sha-Na-Na." Aging hippie with long hair, husband, elderly mother, and yappy Pomeranian. I've been writing since I could hold a crayon. I started with fiction, which Mama said was "lying." “Don’t tell stories,” she would admonish, in Southern vernacular. “That's all in your imagination!” When grownups said this, they were not approving. So, shamed, I stopped telling stories for a few years--rather, I stopped letting anyone read them. I'm married to a fellow computer nerd who doesn't really like hearing about writing, but who reads sf/fantasy and understands the creative drive. I'm actually a nonconformist/hippie still wearing bluejeans and drop earrings and the Alice-in-Wonderland hair with headbands and sandals. Favorite flavor is chocolate/orange, favorite color is either Dreamsicle orange (cantaloupe) or bubble-gum pink, favorite musical is either Bye Bye Birdie, Rocky Horror, or The Producers . . . wait, I also love The Music Man. Is this getting way too specific and irrelevant yet? Obvious why I don't sell a ton of flash fiction, isn't it? To define oneself, I always say, it is good to make a list. How about a booklist? Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird Frank and Ernestine Gilbreth, Cheaper by the Dozen C.S.Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (all the Narnia books) J.R.R.Tolkien,The Hobbit/LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy Gail Godwin, The Odd Woman F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby J. D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye (before dismissing it, actually read it) George Orwell, 1984 Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle Donna Tartt, The Secret History Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn James Allen, As A Man Thinketh Mark Winegardner, Elvis Presley Boulevard James Thurber, My Life and Hard Times The Wizard of Oz, L. Frank Baum Winnie-the-Pooh/House at Pooh Corner, A. A. Milne Peter Pan, J. M. Barrie The KJV and NIV Bible (each translation has its glories)

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