Never wear “Tuesday” on a Friday

I actually got to go out on a “date” today with hubster! Yay!

He wanted to just go to Fry’s Electronics, but he sensed my disgruntlement at being neglected (even Mama noticed I was being neglected, ha) and agreed to visit NorthPark, the architecturally significant Dallas landmark.

The people-watching was the fun part.

Did you know that Stella McCartney has put out a set of Day-of-the-Week panties that retails for . . . $100?!

Wow! Even if I had been inclined . . . I shouldn’t.

For those not in the know, these are panties with the day of the week embroidered somewhere . . . usually across the tuchis. Classy, right? And for the forgetful, a boon, because you could look down and be reminded of what day it is.

But $100 seems steep.

Why, when we were kids, we used to get those same drawers at Wackers Five-and-Ten discount store for $2.95! Embroidered across the hindy and everything!

But it would be TOO horrible to be wearing those when you (a) fell off the curb and your skirt flew up over your head so everyone could see, or (b) had to go to the hospital and everyone saw that you were wearing Tuesday on a Friday and therefore were obviously a dirty slob who never changed her drawers. The calendar-on-the-crotch, hmm. And some sets had no Sunday. “Because of God,” according to “When Harry Met Sally.”

So we’ll stick with the gaily colored Lollipops and JMS in the package from Wal-Mart. Well, except for a few of Victoria’s less scratchy Secrets.


Author: shalanna

Shalanna: rhymes with "Madonna" and "I wanna," and is not a soundalike with "Hosanna" or "Sha-Na-Na." Aging hippie with long hair, husband, elderly mother, and yappy Pomeranian. I've been writing since I could hold a crayon. I started with fiction, which Mama said was "lying." “Don’t tell stories,” she would admonish, in Southern vernacular. “That's all in your imagination!” When grownups said this, they were not approving. So, shamed, I stopped telling stories for a few years--rather, I stopped letting anyone read them. I'm married to a fellow computer nerd who doesn't really like hearing about writing, but who reads sf/fantasy and understands the creative drive. I'm actually a nonconformist/hippie still wearing bluejeans and drop earrings and the Alice-in-Wonderland hair with headbands and sandals. Favorite flavor is chocolate/orange, favorite color is either Dreamsicle orange (cantaloupe) or bubble-gum pink, favorite musical is either Bye Bye Birdie, Rocky Horror, or The Producers . . . wait, I also love The Music Man. Is this getting way too specific and irrelevant yet? Obvious why I don't sell a ton of flash fiction, isn't it? To define oneself, I always say, it is good to make a list. How about a booklist? Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird Frank and Ernestine Gilbreth, Cheaper by the Dozen C.S.Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (all the Narnia books) J.R.R.Tolkien,The Hobbit/LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy Gail Godwin, The Odd Woman F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby J. D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye (before dismissing it, actually read it) George Orwell, 1984 Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle Donna Tartt, The Secret History Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn James Allen, As A Man Thinketh Mark Winegardner, Elvis Presley Boulevard James Thurber, My Life and Hard Times The Wizard of Oz, L. Frank Baum Winnie-the-Pooh/House at Pooh Corner, A. A. Milne Peter Pan, J. M. Barrie The KJV and NIV Bible (each translation has its glories)

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