Shortcut to fame and fortune!

That whole “Julie and Julia” thing–you know, the woman who decided that as a project she would spend a year making all the recipes in Julia Child’s famous cookbook and blog about it, and this led to a book deal and a movie (starring Meryl Streep and directed/scripted by Nora Ephron!) that’s just come out on DVD–has set me to thinking. (Watch out! Danger! Warning!) I need a project that I can do for a year like that and get a book deal out of it. No, really. It could work!

Here are the ideas I’ve come up with so far:

1. Sleep with a different celebrity every night and write about it. Obstacle: no access to celebs, tough sell to celebs (I can’t give it away as it is)
2. Cook every recipe out of “White Trash Cooking” (which was all the rage in the mid-80s around these parts) and blog about it. Obstacle: sudden death from the crazy high-fat and wild recipes (one example is the Hi-Cal Pick-Me-Up: Throw handful of salted cocktail peanuts in mouth. Wash down with huge gulp of icy R. C. Cola.)
3. Read a different book every day and blog about it. ***YAWNNNN*** Not!
4. Do a different math problem every day and blog about it. ***TRIPLE YAWNNN***
5. And here’s the one I think MIGHT have a chance. I could do a “Mind Performance Hack” every day and discuss it. I would create a separate blog for this purpose. What the heck is a Mind Performance Hack? It’s a brain/mind exercise, an intellectual game or exercise that you can do to keep your mind from bit-rot. Many jobs become routine, and you’re stuck doing the same thing or falling into a rut–you don’t use all your intellectual skills. Or you’re getting older and afraid you’ll lose your edge. Use it or lose it! But they’ve shown that if you DO use it, you DON’T lose it . . . at least not as quickly. It’s a legit pursuit.

I might do this. I was thinking of discussing the game “MasterMind” in my initial entry. Then I’d go on to illustrated journaling, dream-collecting, Sudoku, learning Morse code in order to communicate secretly with your friends, and other things that I suspect might be of interest to people who want to do things to keep their minds sharp.

I dunno if this would lead anywhere, but it might be fun. Would you read it? Or do you think that it has all been done before elsewhere, and better?

Also, I promise never to be as big of a horse’s patootie as that “Julie and Julia” author. Her second book makes her come across as . . . well, batshit crazy, as she might put it herself, and really nasty. (I skimmed through the parts of it that didn’t turn my stomach, but it didn’t appeal to me.) I didn’t care much for the first book, truth be told. But I’m not above copying her scheme to rise to the toppe for my 15 mins of fame! (Well, subtract 3 mins. for my worldwide fame as a finalist in last year’s Scotch Brand Most Gifted Wrapper Contest. So 12 mins. of fame are still due me!)


Author: shalanna

Shalanna: rhymes with "Madonna" and "I wanna," and is not a soundalike with "Hosanna" or "Sha-Na-Na." Aging hippie with long hair, husband, elderly mother, and yappy Pomeranian. I've been writing since I could hold a crayon. I started with fiction, which Mama said was "lying." “Don’t tell stories,” she would admonish, in Southern vernacular. “That's all in your imagination!” When grownups said this, they were not approving. So, shamed, I stopped telling stories for a few years--rather, I stopped letting anyone read them. I'm married to a fellow computer nerd who doesn't really like hearing about writing, but who reads sf/fantasy and understands the creative drive. I'm actually a nonconformist/hippie still wearing bluejeans and drop earrings and the Alice-in-Wonderland hair with headbands and sandals. Favorite flavor is chocolate/orange, favorite color is either Dreamsicle orange (cantaloupe) or bubble-gum pink, favorite musical is either Bye Bye Birdie, Rocky Horror, or The Producers . . . wait, I also love The Music Man. Is this getting way too specific and irrelevant yet? Obvious why I don't sell a ton of flash fiction, isn't it? To define oneself, I always say, it is good to make a list. How about a booklist? Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird Frank and Ernestine Gilbreth, Cheaper by the Dozen C.S.Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (all the Narnia books) J.R.R.Tolkien,The Hobbit/LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy Gail Godwin, The Odd Woman F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby J. D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye (before dismissing it, actually read it) George Orwell, 1984 Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle Donna Tartt, The Secret History Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn James Allen, As A Man Thinketh Mark Winegardner, Elvis Presley Boulevard James Thurber, My Life and Hard Times The Wizard of Oz, L. Frank Baum Winnie-the-Pooh/House at Pooh Corner, A. A. Milne Peter Pan, J. M. Barrie The KJV and NIV Bible (each translation has its glories)

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