Impossible . . . impossible

I spent the ENTIRE DAY today trying to . . . um . . . well, you know those five lab tests that the doctor ordered that weren’t blood tests but were . . . um . . . [TMI]

POOP TESTS

I am not making this up. They gave me three white “margarine containers” like the “I can’t believe it’s not butter” (ahem) containers and four vials. Then I was supposed to . . . well, you fill in the blanks. WITHOUT placing the prize elsewhere, but directly there. Impossible! Impossible!

Well, just barely possible. Problem was, I started on Nexium to reduce stomach acid when I went to the doctor on Tuesday morning, and that corrected the “too much too often” trouble. So today . . . it wasn’t as simple as one might imagine. Please DON’T imagine it.

*sigh*

Finally, just before the lab closed at five, I got there with all but one vial “done.” At home we couldn’t get the top off this vial (it had reagent already in it, stuff that said it was poisonous and carcinogenic and DON’T GET IT ON YOU), so I finally just went there and asked them to open it. The techs couldn’t get it open, either. They decided the machine that makes the things had stuck the top on too tightly. So they found another of those vials (they’re apparently a SET) and let me deal with that test separately. The other tests went in today.

But I’m pretty much well, except I do have some soreness and pain around my belly button. It’s like a pinching, or a stabbing pain now and then. That is a lot better than it was.

The doctor actually kept saying, “It’s stress. The job situation, the conflict between your husband and your mom, and all that . . . it’s stress. Or maybe it’s the five Metformin–reduce that back to three and see if it helps. And here’s Nexium.” He didn’t seem worried. I’m still concerned, of course, but I’m better.

As far as stress, though–hubby has been pulled back off of his “new” assignment to do a last-ditch effort for this other project. There’s a possible government contract in it, they say. I have stopped listening to them. I think the guys in charge of that are on a manic phase and need to get some Lithium or something. Aren’t government contracts getting pulled back? *sigh*

But I’m not going to think about it. If he has to work for the [insert hated political party here] as a bootlicker, I won’t say a word. Not a single word!

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Author: shalanna

Shalanna: rhymes with "Madonna" and "I wanna," and is not a soundalike with "Hosanna" or "Sha-Na-Na." Aging hippie with long hair, husband, elderly mother, and yappy Pomeranian. I've been writing since I could hold a crayon. I started with fiction, which Mama said was "lying." “Don’t tell stories,” she would admonish, in Southern vernacular. “That's all in your imagination!” When grownups said this, they were not approving. So, shamed, I stopped telling stories for a few years--rather, I stopped letting anyone read them. I'm married to a fellow computer nerd who doesn't really like hearing about writing, but who reads sf/fantasy and understands the creative drive. I'm actually a nonconformist/hippie still wearing bluejeans and drop earrings and the Alice-in-Wonderland hair with headbands and sandals. Favorite flavor is chocolate/orange, favorite color is either Dreamsicle orange (cantaloupe) or bubble-gum pink, favorite musical is either Bye Bye Birdie, Rocky Horror, or The Producers . . . wait, I also love The Music Man. Is this getting way too specific and irrelevant yet? Obvious why I don't sell a ton of flash fiction, isn't it? To define oneself, I always say, it is good to make a list. How about a booklist? Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird Frank and Ernestine Gilbreth, Cheaper by the Dozen C.S.Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (all the Narnia books) J.R.R.Tolkien,The Hobbit/LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy Gail Godwin, The Odd Woman F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby J. D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye (before dismissing it, actually read it) George Orwell, 1984 Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle Donna Tartt, The Secret History Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn James Allen, As A Man Thinketh Mark Winegardner, Elvis Presley Boulevard James Thurber, My Life and Hard Times The Wizard of Oz, L. Frank Baum Winnie-the-Pooh/House at Pooh Corner, A. A. Milne Peter Pan, J. M. Barrie The KJV and NIV Bible (each translation has its glories)

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