No pink slime in this post! No, HONEST!

We are growing a Victory Garden this summer, for sure. It’s raining like Seattle out there and has been for a couple of days now. I filled the courtyard with blooming things just before it started. I need to find someone who raises chickens so we can get eggs. Then the grocery store can keep all its pink slime and wood filler.

Still waiting to hear from the nice writer/editor/pro who is going to (in fulfillment of an auction pledge) read the first 10K of MIRANDA’S RIGHTS. She said she’d get to it this week. I’m sure she’s dreading it and putting it off as a chore, as most would be, but I’m dreading it even more. Of course what I hope for is to be told there is a market for such books, but I don’t really think there IS any more. Perhaps there is something good in the work that she’ll say something nice about because she IS a nice person and has been kind in her dealings with me so far.

But I figure that within a couple of pages she found it insufferable . . . fey and twee . . . too arch . . . or something. We’ve discussed before that I have voice issues (people don’t like it and they want to edit it out)–the only person online who seems to know what I mean is Hal Duncan, who mentions several things on his blog:

“Voice makes character. For the purposes of this post, we’re not talking voice as in, “He’s found his voice,” but rather narrative voice, the degree to which idiosyncratic features of an articulation cohere and conjure a persona behind the words, cast it as an articulation of and by someone.
“When I say that voice makes character, note that this is not the same as saying that character requires voice. It’s simply saying that well-made prose can be engaging not just in terms of dynamics but because it generates a sense of the viewpoint character, brings them to life in the very lexis and syntax.”

This, this!! This is why, when April says something in APRIL, MAYBE JUNE, because it is inside her close-in intimate first person thinking cap, April might say, “He sounded like one of those radio preachers begging for money to support his broadcasting habit,” instead of the more succinct “He sounded desperate” that many critique groups advocate or insist on.

He says, later on in the post:

“[word choice/diction while describing an event helps to] reveal the core of the PoV character experiencing that event. And ultimately to do that you need to apply that incision not just in writing but in reading, in life. Voice makes character because the nuances of how one articulates oneself in the real world are manifestations of character. Voice is the use of a verb like “flocking” as regards immigrants that might speak of xenophobia or outright racism. Voice is the use of “goshdarn” that might reveal primness or diffidence or just habit formed in upbringing.”

*sobbing* Yes! I am not (always) doing this sort of thing consciously. Often it is instinctively. Often I just hear Tatyana or Daphne or her boss Barry in my head and I know how they talk. When I’m scribbling from a close intimate point of view, I might use a vocabulary that isn’t my typical thing or the reader’s typical thing, and SO MANY SO-CALLED READERS have been taught to exit and write, “This word threw me out of the story.” To which I am not allowed to reply, “What? You were never taught, when you were learning to read, that you should get the meaning from the context and look it up later to see how close you were and what the connotations/denotation(s) of the word are? Then increase your reading comprehension.” Because the Market does not like words it does not already know, sigh. That is the common “wisdom.”

Yet sometimes a word like “antediluvian” is required, or even “whoopensocker” (a Wisconsin localism for “a real doozie, a biggie, especially a strong drink or extreme hottie of a person” that should be figure-outable from the context it is used in.) A Biblical professor might write “before the Flood,” or might be so inured to speaking to other scholars that “antediluvian” falls off his lips easily, like those little tobacco grains that my mother used to spit out when she smoked those disgusting ciggie things that have now given her COPD and asthma. The editors of the world want you to take all these phrases out and just “write it normal.” This guy thinks you aren’t insane if you “write it differently.”

He even refers to the “anecdotal” voice, the “raconteur” voice, and a “mannered narrator.” I have long searched for terms with which to describe certain devices I was using on purpose. These work.

He has a book, apparently. I will be getting it. (Irony off! I know he has a bunch of books out.)

But the blog is very cool.

Please, PLEASE, go read his rules for writers if you are a fictioneer, aspire to publish fiction, or critique stuff for people. It will give you insight as to why I (and I use myself as a bad example because I can discuss myself without insulting anyone, ha) write things the way I do. I have never encountered anyone else who could put these things into words, or who even believed on a conscious level that these things are valid ways to build the tribal lays. No, no, Pamela and a few others have understood that it is OK to write things in voice, but we’ve never put it into words this way. The MAJORITY of agents/critters will not “get” this and will try to make you write in the No-Style Style, the vanilla way. “Why say that her pimples shone forth on her chin like traffic cones? No one knows what that means, and they can’t be in reality the same shade of orange. Just write “she had pimples” or that “red bumps tracked down her cheeks.” (an example of what critique people pick up on in my work, never something like a plot problem or why the stuff can’t sell)

But anyway, go read it before it gets buried in later posts. I wish I could meet this person. If he is real, then he can think in a manner that wouldn’t rule out my work. I wish there were more people like him.

Oh, and elsewhere on that blog, Hal Duncan also mentions that books can have voices of their own–the viewpoint character’s voice–as well as having the typical sound of that author (“sounds like Hal”). This is an aspect of my work that many people have commented on. It’s one reason that I wanted to send the editor 5K of one book and 5K of another, so she wouldn’t think that I always wrote in the Miranda style (the April book is pretty different), but she said she couldn’t tell anything about a book from just 5K, so I had to send all Miranda. We’ll see.

I’ve also run across a blog by an editor who says that older authors can’t properly promote their work because they get tired too quickly and can’t travel, so she will consider the author’s age and health when considering a work. I don’t see what that has to do with the quality or readability of the work, and I think she’s going to miss out. There’s another editor blogging today about how you must always cut out everything you can, but his examples remove voice from the sentences. Even his comments section objects to his extremist position. What a mess is today’s publishing industry.

At least most books are free of pink slime and transglutaminase! Unlike your friendly neighborhood hamburger! Get ’em while they’re hot off the presses.

(Soylent pink is peeeeeepul . . . but only the stinky ones.)

Sometimes you win by losing

I guess it was a blessing in disguise that I never managed to revise those two novels and get that contract with Dorchester.  I felt pretty bummed about it for a couple of years, because I thought they were a pretty good and respectable house.  But now–

They’ve moved out in the middle of the night, leaving authors in the lurch because their rights have not been reverted to them and any royalties from books being sold (on the Kindle and other digital platforms) aren’t coming.

Read a blog thread with comments from several former Dorchester/Leisure authors:
http://www.briankeene.com/?p=6140

See the timeline:
http://www.briankeene.com/?p=10803

Agent Kristin also chimes in:
http://pubrants.blogspot.com/2012/03/we-are-so-dense-about-technology-that.html

*sigh*

Now mirroring LiveJournal (or vice versa)

I’m trying something new.  Because LiveJournal may not be convenient as a reading platform for those of you who don’t have an LJ account (and are therefore stuck reading many advertisements), and because LJ has suffered DDoS attacks in the past, I’m going to mirror my posts both here and there.

Either URL should give you my journal posts.

Comments at LJ always preferred, but it’s great to leave them here, as well.  Let me know how this works out!

 

http://shalanna.livejournal.com

https://shalanna.wordpress.com

 

Happy (Ancient Roman) New Year, sigh

Still depressed over the passing of Davy Jones. He was far too young and still good-looking. And I might have been able to get out to see the tour this year. I don’t know . . . perhaps tomorrow will be better. Need cookies.

If we were in Ancient Rome, not only would I be carving Latin into a rock, it would be the first day of the new year. Can we start over now and have this be a new year?

Tax refund still being withheld by wicked ether that carries direct deposit wire transfers. Living on crumbs of cornbread and counting out the beans. Waiting to hit lottery numbers. V. boring.

Also, have declared moratorium on any more Kindle books. Too many are piling up. Currently re-reading _I Never Promised You a Rose Garden_, and it is still very affecting. I first found it in the school library in ninth grade and loved it then. How many people know the heavy metal/rock group that was named for the ever-falling character out of this book? Probably lots of you. Farewell, Anterrabae. (If I use that as the screen name of a character in my next book, it will not be plagiarism but a homage. A literary allusion. No, REALLY.)

OMG!! Davy Jones reported to have Crossed Over today

Monkees fans join me in a LONG moment of silence.

If what they say is true . . . Davy Jones has crossed over into Heaven today at age 66 after an apparent heart attack.

Those who saw Davy and Micky in their last concert appearances are lucky indeed to have seen the historic performance. I was broke and sick and didn’t get to go, so I hope you took PICTURES.

His body of work will serve as a wonderful legacy.

Now we’re down to three Monkees and two Beatles.

*(sigh)*

But isn’t it LIKE a Monkee to die on Leap Day so that the deathiversary only comes along once every four years?

Here’s wishing him an easy crossing. “We’ll see you on the Other Side.”

Today doesn’t exist in most years!

Happy Leap Day! If today’s your birthday, you can get free treats at most stores/restaurants by just asking because you are SO SPECIAL. Give it a try at Mickey D’s and the cupcake store! And Happy Rare Birthday to you!

Old Irish legend has it that women may propose to men on this day-—and those men have to accept. [Ireland used to be fairly packed with guys hiding under every bush and in every pot o’ gold on Leap Day, I would assume.) Some legend-bearers add that if he declines, he must buy her 12 pairs of gloves to hide the naked ring finger. Of course, nowadays anyone can propose to anyone on ANY day. We live in enlightened times!

Today delays our paycheck (first and fifteenth of month) another day. Must live on cornbread and beans one more day. (hiccup) Also, the government fibbed about how they were going to deposit our tax refund by Feb 28. (sob) Still no refund. And I so wanted to get a new pair of socks!!

Um . . . not Buddy Holly exactly

Hubby’s computer/reading glasses, the ones made specifically for his “computer distance” and closer, kept breaking. The frames were metal, and for whatever reason he was really hard on them and the lenses wouldn’t stay in because the frames got warped. He finally decided he needed to get some sturdier ones.

“Maybe plastic,” he said. “Buddy Holly sort of things. Something that’ll hold up better to being swapped out for my driving/distance ones several times a day.”

We went last week to pick out a nice set of Ray-Bans, and I told everyone he was going to do the Steve Allen/Buddy Holly thing. This evening they called and we picked up the glasses.

Turns out they’re not the Buddy Holly.

They’re the Lisa Loeb.

I think that’s even cuter.

I should go get prescription sunglasses. I can tell this is going to be a bright summer.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Hope you had a pleasant and love-filled Saint Valentine’s Day!

I got a HelloKitty fuzzy throw, a stretch-beads bracelet, and two Hello Kitty school-type folders. Which I promptly filled with the income tax stuff (I e-filed this morning) and the stuff about the repairs that we still need to finish on the house. I’ll bet the spies will never think to look in Hello Kitty folders for such things. They’ll waste all their time looking for the stuff marked BURN BEFORE READING!

I also baked cupcakes. But it was with a gluten-free, sugar-free mix. They really do need the gluten and the sugar. (GRIN) Also, sugar substitutes can make your digestive tract irritated, so you really have to watch how much of it you eat. It’s probably smarter to just eat tiny amounts of the real thing. Just an experiment.

The spreading madness

This used to be a sleepy little neighborhood in a quiet little town where nothing ever happened.

BUT! BUT! AND AGAIN, BUT!!

A few days ago, an innocent bystander was shot TO DEATH by a DART cop (and another bystander was shot in the shoulder, requiring surgery) when the DART cop pursued a guy who was trying to use an expired bus pass in a nearby area and who pulled out a gun and shot the DART cop. (He hit right where her heart is–but fortunately she had a Kevlar bulletproof vest on and it was deflected and grazed her upper arm. She then shot him and the two bystanders with a spray of returned fire.)

Now, yes, I’m sure this woman was not a “real cop” and was just a DART cop and was scared and taken aback when the idiot was told to take his hands out of his pockets and he pulled out a gun and SHOT her. Anytime you point a gun at a police officer, you are DEAD, BTW. It is suicide, whether you pull the trigger or it’s a fake gun or not. But anyway, she panicked and she wasn’t a cop who goes to the shootin’ range all the time or whatever, and she hit two bystanders.

What’s so shocking about this?

It was at Arapaho Station in RICHARDSON, TEXAS. Just on the east side of US75 from the library and City Hall!

News item: Bystander dead in shootout at Dallas train station
(AP) RICHARDSON, Texas — A man suspected of starting a shootout with police at a suburban Dallas transit station that left a bystander dead Tuesday was himself found dead a short time later after a second gunfight with pursuing officers, authorities said. The shootout at a Dallas Area Rapid Transit “Red Line” train station in Richardson also wounded two others, including a transit officer who had confronted the man around 3:30 p.m. Tuesday. The shootout started after the driver of a DART bus told a transit police officer at the station that a man who had just boarded was being disorderly, Perlich said. The man, who was walking toward a waiting DART train, opened fire when the officer confronted him. After the transit officer returned fire, the man fled to a nearby warehouse [ALMOST certainly the VentAHood headquarters that’s been there forever, across Greenville Avenue–SC], where he exchanged fire with other officers who pursued him. That’s where he was found dead, Perlich said. One bystander who was shot later died at Medical Center of Plano. [Nearest trauma center.–SC] It was the latest in a string of violent incidents reported recently at DART stations. Last month, a man was shot to death during an argument with three people at a station in downtown Dallas. In December, undercover Dallas police officers shot and killed a suspect who they say brandished a handgun aboard an Amtrak train [almost certainly the Texas Eagle to Chicago!–SC] stopped at Union Station in Dallas, the hub of DART’s rail network. An officer and a bystander were wounded. A few weeks earlier, four juveniles were arrested and charged with murder after a 19-year-old man was shoved against an accelerating DART train at a platform near Fair Park, southeast of downtown Dallas.

They are downplaying this, but the bystander who survived says he knows it was the officer’s bullet that hit him. They also say that the perp shot himself in the head and was not killed by the officer. The bystander who was shot appears to have had disabilities. This just slays me, it is SO UNFAIR.

A week ago, a man was shot in the stomach at the Pearl Street DART station. He was also killed. But that didn’t worry me as much as this incident, because the man was already in a push-and-shove argument with the two men who had the guns, and that was downtown. It was worrisome, but not like having it happen in your own side yard. I mean, when we moved here in 1967, this was the boonies! Roads were not even all paved! We could walk down Custer and see horses and cows and llamas in the pasture! Cotton fields were just north of us (our neighborhood is built on cotton land . . . possibly also a Choctaw burial ground, as far as I am concerned). Now it is the middle of town.

I have been after my mother to let me take her on a joy ride on the DART train down to the Mockingbird Station (she doesn’t want to go underground, which it does at CityPlace, the next stop south) because she is a train fancier and that is like riding a Six Flags ride, as far as I am concerned. But now . . . she wouldn’t go for anything. I would be afraid to take her, anyhow. We’d be targets because we’d be on the “handicapped” platform and would be riding in front of the train with her walker. She won’t get the experience.

The neighborhood e-newsletter has been filled with incidents of people stealing the tires (!!) off of cars and trucks in the night. You could be parked in your own driveway or in the street–didn’t matter. If you had nice tires of a size that’s in demand, they’d steal it. This is all over our development. Today’s e-mail tells us that someone stole the wheels (!!!) off a truck on the street where we used to live, and left the truck up on cinderblocks. Now, THAT’S AGGRESSIVE.

Then we went through the Burger King drive-through to get all of us burgers (the Pomeranian eats a Whopper Jr. without cheese–he LOVES cheese, but has asthma) and noticed that last night some idiot got back there and painted graffiti all over the back of the adjacent building. Good grief! We never had any graffiti. Nobody ever used to steal street signs.

I am praying to win the lottery so we can move next door to Clint Eastwood. Saw the Pebble Beach Celebrity Golf tourney today and decided that the area is perfect for us. Mama’s hero, Ray Romano, made some sublime golf shots. Beautiful ocean full of sea lions. A breeze off the sea. That neighborhood would be safe enough for us. We’re on our way.

I already HAVE the classy piano. (Never mind that she doesn’t QUITE come up to concert pitch and that the next-to-lowest F goes out of tune faster)

And the Pomeranian.

What DO you call it?

I have a scene set in a small music shop. My heroine is behind the counter, getting ready to close. Let’s say it is ONE minute until closing. Is there something she could be doing that would clue readers in, without using too many words, that she’s closing up shop?

Currently, my opening sentence for the romantic suspense ghost story book refers to “closing up shop.” I perceived that as a shorthand that would clue readers in that it was closing time, and allow them to visualize whatever that means to them. The important thing is that we get across the idea that it’s quitting time.

I tweaked the opening a bit today, with the help of the WRITING2 mailing list. But it may need a bit more tweaking.

“Paige Campbell was closing up shop when the phone rang.”

(The ringing phone is the ominous note.)

Even if you’ve never worked retail, there must be SOMETHING that would mean quitting time. Emptying the till, locking the front door, whatever. But I don’t want to put too much emphasis on the action, so that’s why I was vague and general. Should I be more specific? Or is that OK?